Mestra Conta Piadas | Supreme Master Television

Rindo com Iluminação, Parte 5 de 8

32:39

Rindo com Iluminação, Parte 5 de 8

A recruiting ad for a French learning class says the following, “If you find you do not like this course and want to quit after the first class, you can request to refund your tuition, but you must say this in French.” Then you have to stay. Right? (Yes.) You understand? (Yes.)A teacher said to the students, “Why did you do so poorly on the exam?” Kitty, “The degrees of my glasses are not good eno

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2026-04-12 1568 Visualizações

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Rindo com Iluminação, Parte 4 de 8

29:27

Rindo com Iluminação, Parte 4 de 8

The teacher asked a student, “Why don’t you brush your teeth? I can see what you had for breakfast this morning.” The student said, “What did I have?” The teacher said, “Cornflakes.” So, the student said, “You are wrong. That was yesterday.”A little boy was praying in the church. “Oh, dear God, I have a small wish. Please move the capital to New York.” A priest nearby heard him and asked him, “Why

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2026-04-11 1944 Visualizações

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Rindo com Iluminação, Parte 3 de 8

33:11

Rindo com Iluminação, Parte 3 de 8

Daddy number one says, “I always stress to my kids that there must be three -sions for success: Mission, passion and vision.” OK. So, dad number two: “And the outcome?” Dad number one says again, “Alas, there is only one television in their hearts.” Kids! Only one “-sion” in their hearts, that’s television. I hope it is the Supreme Master Television.This one is really bad, even though it’s a priva

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2026-04-10 1982 Visualizações

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Rindo com Iluminação, Parte 2 de 8

32:15

Rindo com Iluminação, Parte 2 de 8

Little Johnny said, “Daddy, I want to ask you a question.” After a first day in Sunday school. So Daddy said, “OK.” And little Johnny said, “Oh, the teacher was reading the Bible to us, all about the children of Israel building this temple and the children of Israel crossing the Red Sea. The children of Israel do this, do that. What have all the adults been doing?” It’s true, huh? They do nothing,

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Rindo com Iluminação, Parte 1 de 8

38:41

Rindo com Iluminação, Parte 1 de 8

(Going home.) What time? (Yes, I’m going home in two hours.) (I’m going home alone tomorrow.) Are you both going home? (No.) (Just him alone.) (My mom and I.) Just pointing at this and that. Aren’t you two going home to the same house? (No.) Why do you two look so alike, like brothers? (It was in a past life.) (In a past life.) In a past life, in a past life. Hey! You’re all going home, leaving me

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2026-04-08 2696 Visualizações

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Virtude com Sabedoria, Parte 7 de 8

33:33

Virtude com Sabedoria, Parte 7 de 8

There was this guy who won twenty million in the lottery, but he had a heart disease. So his family didn’t know how to tell him, they were afraid that if they told him suddenly, he might die from the shock. Then they went to ask a psychiatrist for help. The doctor said, “Don’t worry, I know. I have a heart disease too, so I know the psychology of people with a heart disease. Let me tell him. I’ll

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2026-02-24 2810 Visualizações

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Virtude com Sabedoria, Parte 6 de 8

36:33

Virtude com Sabedoria, Parte 6 de 8

There was a guy who was invited over to celebrate Tết (Lunar New Year); Celebrating Tết involves sticky rice cakes, ginger candies, pickled leeks, non-alcoholic beer, and all that. Yes, please. But the hostess didn’t practice the Quan Yin Method, so she was kind of stingy. She was saving her money to travel. Therefore, she treated the guest, but only halfway. So the guy didn’t have enough to eat,

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2026-02-23 2784 Visualizações

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Virtude com Sabedoria, Parte 5 de 8

34:08

Virtude com Sabedoria, Parte 5 de 8

In the biography of Xuanzang, it mentioned the Quan Yin Method. Because the Quan Yin Method in Sanskrit is called “Shabda.” One of the sutras He brought back mentioned the “Shabda.” “Shabda” means the (inner Heavenly) Sound within us. Because I knew that word, I knew Xuanzang practiced the “Shabda,” meaning the Quan Yin Method, the (inner Heavenly) Sound current. But if we don’t know Sanskrit, the

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2026-02-22 2878 Visualizações

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Tudo É Organizado por Deus, Parte 2 de 7

34:21

Tudo É Organizado por Deus, Parte 2 de 7

Yesterday, the one who told a story about tofu… Because I had just talked about tofu a moment ago... If it is so smoky, then close your eyes for a moment until the smoke is gone. If your nose is congested, then pinch your nose, too. He told the story that there was a monk... But I didn’t know if the story was true or not, because he told the story, not me. There was a monk who was in a house – no,

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2025-12-21 3288 Visualizações

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Os Santos Risonhos, Parte 11 de 11

30:56

Os Santos Risonhos, Parte 11 de 11

“A traveler.” “A traveler named John pulled into a little town for the night to find every hotel room was taken. He pleaded, ‘You have got to have a room somewhere or just a bed. I don’t care where.’ So, the manager admitted, ‘Well, I do have a double room with one occupant, and he might be glad to split the cost. But to tell you the truth, he snores so loudly that people in adjoining rooms have c

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2025-09-23 2798 Visualizações

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Os Santos Risonhos, Parte 10 de 11

35:09

Os Santos Risonhos, Parte 10 de 11

“There’s a father who said to a friend, ‘You know, when I was younger, I was disciplined by being sent to my room without supper, but my son has his own color TV, phone, computer, and CD player.’ So, his friend said, ‘So what do you do?’ ‘Well, I send him to my room.’”“A young boy and his girl were embracing passionately in the front seat of a car. She asked him, ‘You want to go to the back seat?’

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Os Santos Risonhos, Parte 9 de 11

33:09

Os Santos Risonhos, Parte 9 de 11

“A Baptist preacher, a Presbyterian minister, and a Lutheran pastor got into a discussion as to which denomination Jesus Christ would belong to.” Ah, here we come again. “Each claimed that He would belong to his own.” Of course. “So, the Baptist preacher declared, ‘He would obviously be Baptist. We are so on fire with the zeal for God, just like He was when He was on Earth. He would join us in a h

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2025-09-21 2659 Visualizações

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Os Santos Risonhos, Parte 8 de 11

30:58

Os Santos Risonhos, Parte 8 de 11

Yeah, fine. Up! Good boy. You OK now? You are tired? I love you. Oh, I love you. My little Liebchen (Sweetheart). Come, get up. Come here, read me a book of jokes. Do some work. Hey, Happy. OK, she wants some love.“One day, a boy was digging in his backyard, and his neighbor asked him, ‘Hey, Timmy, what are you doing that for?’ And Timmy said, ‘My goldfish(-person) died, and I’m burying him.’ The

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2025-09-20 2588 Visualizações

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Os Santos Risonhos, Parte 7 de 11

33:03

Os Santos Risonhos, Parte 7 de 11

“At the end of a performance, there were a couple of extras in the play, talking together backstage. ‘What’s the matter with our leading lady?’ One actress said, ‘She seems really mad about something.’ And the other said, ‘Oh, she’s upset because she only received nine bouquets of flowers over the footlight.’ ‘Nine!’ Exclaimed the first actress. ‘That’s pretty good, isn’t it?’ The other one replie

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2025-09-19 3009 Visualizações

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Os Santos Risonhos, Parte 6 de 11

30:59

Os Santos Risonhos, Parte 6 de 11

“One of the patients was very worried and asked the doctor, ‘Doctor, are you sure? Are you sure it’s pneumonia?’ The doctor said, ‘Yes, why?’ ‘Yeah, because I heard of cases where a doctor treated a patient for pneumonia, but he (the patient) ended up dying of something else.’ The doctor said, ‘Don’t worry. When I treat the patient for pneumonia, he will die of pneumonia.’” You got that? “For sure

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2025-09-18 3008 Visualizações

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Os Santos Risonhos, Parte 5 de 11

32:58

Os Santos Risonhos, Parte 5 de 11

It’s terrible. No, I won’t tell you this. There’s not much. Well, something maybe funny. “A Texas farmer was visiting an Australian farm for the first time. So he asked, ‘What’s that growing out there in that field?’ So the Aussie host said, ‘Well, them are watermelons, mate.’ The Texan scoffed at him and said, ‘In Texas, we grow potatoes bigger than that. And what’s that over there on those trees

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2025-09-17 2975 Visualizações

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Os Santos Risonhos, Parte 4 de 11

31:12

Os Santos Risonhos, Parte 4 de 11

I told you that already, I’m sure. I’m sure I told you this [one], but it’s funny, so I’ll tell you again, in case. And beware when you go watch movies or in some crowded place. “There was a lovely and shapely young lady trying to board a city bus. But she was filled with packages and bags and everything, and she was wearing a very tight dress. So, it was difficult for her to step on the bus witho

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2025-09-16 2793 Visualizações

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Os Santos Risonhos, Parte 3 de 11

32:47

Os Santos Risonhos, Parte 3 de 11

“A husband and wife were watching a movie on the TV the other night where the wife hired a private detective to follow her husband to see if he was in fact cheating on her. So, the husband asked the wife if she would ever do that to him. And she said, ‘Yes, yes, of course I would, but not so much to find out who was the other woman, but to see if I could find out what she saw in you.’”“Three men w

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2025-09-15 3004 Visualizações

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Os Santos Risonhos, Parte 2 de 11

29:18

Os Santos Risonhos, Parte 2 de 11

Isso aqui, essa é minha piada, minha própria piada, piada original. Diz... “Um funcionário vai se apresentar ao escritório do chefe. Ele é um vendedor. O chefe diz, ‘Ei, como vão as coisas? Como vão as suas vendas?’ Ele diz, ‘Oh, bom, bom. Quase 50% das pessoas compraram nossas coisas.’ Ele diz, ‘Sim? Quantas pessoas estavam lá?’ Ele diz, ‘Duas.’ ‘Huh? Mas você disse 50%?’ Ele diz, ‘Sim.’ Ele diz,

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2025-09-14 2890 Visualizações

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Celebrando o Festival da Lua Vegano com a Mestra, Parte 2 de 7

30:56

Celebrando o Festival da Lua Vegano com a Mestra, Parte 2 de 7

(Então, o segundo número do nosso programa de hoje é o nosso irmão indiano que vai contar algumas piadas para nós.) (E fazer Você rir.) […](Um homem foi ao dentista...) (...com dois dentes da frente quebrados. Então, o dentista perguntou a ele, “Como você quebrou seus dentes desse jeito?”) (Ele disse, “Minha esposa me serviu com pão muito duro.”) […] (Então o dentista disse a ele, “Por que

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2025-02-23 3870 Visualizações

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