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Ucapan Selamat Ikhlas, Bahagian 1/3

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(So beautiful!) (Master, You look so beautiful!) Do I look good in this outfit? (Yes.) That’s the way to wake you up, otherwise everyone would be nodding off. Who would I even be talking to then? I dozed off earlier as well. If I don’t dress up a bit, the whole group will fall asleep. I’d fall asleep first and you will follow. It’s 1 AM already – if you’re not sleeping, what are you even doing? Right? Oh, it’s 12, just a little past 12. That’s not too bad. What are these? These “weapons” are pretty good. Very effective at fighting off the enemies of sleepiness, huh? (As soon as we see Master, we are no longer sleepy.) (Seeing Master, we’re no longer sleepy...) So you’re not sleepy anymore? (No.) Then why did everyone... look like this when I first came down? Looking with half-closed eyes. And you say you’re not sleepy? (We’re listening to Master’s poetry.) (Listening to Master reciting poems.)

Those of you sitting in the back come up and sit here. It’s fine. Sit closer here. These ladies are all practitioners; there’s nothing to worry about. Sit up here, come sit closer. If you men are too numerous, go over there, then you can see more clearly. You can see the women more clearly. Sit closer, it’s fine. Those sitting in the back who can’t see, come up front. I’ve already invited you. Why are you being so stubborn? I’m inviting you up and you still won’t come up. Do you think you’re so handsome that you have to keep hiding your face like that? Just about 50 years old, what’s the big deal? You keep pretending. You’re dying to look! Pretending to say, “Oh, no!” “I don’t want to.” “I don’t want to,” and then… Is that right? (Yes.) I know everything. How could a Living Buddha not know? If you don’t know as a living Buddha, you won’t know anything after you died.

Alright. Comrades, do you have anything else you want to ask? You’re all leaving tomorrow, right? (Not yet.) Oh, my goodness, not yet! I keep waiting for all of you to leave before I go. My neck has grown long from waiting. I ask every day and you still don’t want to go home. So when are you planning to go home? Do you want to eat up all my supplies, and then you’ll leave? I’ve already told you this. This place where I live is “a remote and windy mountain pass,” you know. They call it “monkeys howling and crows cawing.” I don’t have time to keep going out and buying food for you to eat all the time. (Yes.) Alright then, whoever stays has to go grocery shopping every day. (Yes.) You love it, love it, love going out for walks. Oh my, after only two or three days of spiritual practice, you already wanted to go here and there, so anxious and restless inside.

I was really exhausted earlier. Around eleven-something, my eyes were already closing. One eye was shut. I completely forgot, forgot that there were still some comrades sitting here drooling. Then, just as I got home and was about to go to sleep, someone phoned me. There was someone sitting in the tent earlier praying for something. Who was it? Raise your hand. (It’s over here.) Be honest, then I’ll let it slide this time. Next time, if you’re going to phone me, then call much earlier. Waiting until almost 12 to call, by then I’m about to go pay my respects to my ancestors. I get into bed; around twelve-something, it’s time for me to go visit my ancestors. My ancestors belong to the lineage of sleep. I have to sleep in order to meet them. They sleep all day all night. If I want to go see them, I have to sleep first. But you wouldn’t even let me go to pay my respects to my ancestors, you kept phoning me nonstop from inside there. Once you’re in the tent that means wrapping yourself up in your sleeping bag and snoring away, what are you calling on the phone for? I’m so fed up with this!

I already told you; you can see me on the TV too when you sit in there, right? (Yes.) The image in there looks exactly the same as the one outside, there is no difference. It even looks better than in person. (Yes, outside is more beautiful.) Much more beautiful. That’s why a lot of people just come to... (Look.) Look at me. In Miaoli on Sundays, people come by every day just to look. They say, “Oh my God, your Master is ‘wickedly’ (extremely) beautiful!” Beautiful – like, cruelly beautiful. Others say, “My God, this is ‘terrifyingly’ beautiful.” Then say, “That’s ‘ferociously’ beautiful.” And then some of our own kind people, not our fellow practitioners, say, “‘Pfft! She’s not even that pretty. Look at these pictures – these are way prettier.’ You haven’t even seen Her other photos yet. And when you go watch Her on Her own TV, it’s even more extreme.”

Then there were people who happened to stand next to me without realizing it and asked, “Miss, do you know where Madame Ching Hai is now?” So I asked back, “Why are you asking for Madame Ching Hai?” Then he said, “Well, I heard She’s very beautiful. I want to come to take a look.” I said, “Haven’t you seen Her before? Why do you want to come and look?” He said, “No, Miss. I’ve only seen Her photos and watched Her on TV.” So I said, “Oh, is that so? Then just go watch Her on TV and look at Her photos over there.” It’s a funny joke. But it might be true.

See? Do you see the airplanes? The mosquitoes here are so big, they’re like mini airplanes. Little airplanes. (They’re having fun.) When they see us, they think we’re an airport and they land on us right away. See? You have to be careful here. You should apply some oil on, alright? Otherwise, just write a sign and put it up here: “I forbid mosquitoes enter.” Wear it on your chest saying: “All mosquitoes: big ones, small ones, old ones, young ones are not allowed to land on this airport.” (Shoo them away.) Shoo them away? When you’re in samadhi, you can’t shoo them away anymore. And when you’re practicing Quan Yin (meditation on the inner Heavenly Sound) outside, you couldn’t shoo them away either. Everything is joyful when you come here? (Yes.) Even watching the mosquitoes is funny. (These mosquitoes are amusing. Over here, they’re fun.) Most of these people from Âu Lạc (Vietnam) living in America don’t even have mosquitoes. Once in a while they have to buy a ticket just to come see mosquitoes.

Just talking about mosquitoes and everyone laughs like this. Whereas some comrades back in our homeland hear about this and say, “Oh no, how strange! That bunch must all be crazy. They thought that following Madame Ching Hai would make these people become Buddhas or Immortals, instead they all become crazy.” But actually, the mosquitoes here are quite helpful, they’re Dharma protectors. Anyone who’s faint-hearted wouldn’t dare come. Those troublesome people don’t dare to come, they’re afraid of getting bitten by mosquitoes. If not, there are tiger growls to be afraid of. I was born in the year of the Tiger, you know? And anyone coming here, even those who usually like to wear sexy clothes at home, they all dress dignified here. Wherever there’s exposed skin, the mosquitoes will bite. At first, I wore short sleeves and short pants, this and that. But now there are too many mosquito bites, I had to cover up completely.

But how strange, it’s kind of cold this time. (Yes.) How could Cambodia get so cold! I have three layers on and still feel chilly. Are you cold? (No.) Not too cold. (Yes.) Why is Cambodia so oddly cold? (There’s a storm.) A storm? Even in Âu Lạc (Vietnam) storms don’t get this cold, right? (Yes.) Because you’re here that’s why the weather has changed, right? Tiger(-people) growl also. No, not that. Thunder strikes and all that, then naturally it feels cold. People say Cambodia never gets this cold. The Cambodians are completely shocked. Every day they run out, stick out their bare hand to check. Oh, still cold, pull it back in then. They say to each other, “How strange, ever since Master Ching Hai’s group came here, it’s been cold every day. Every time we stick out our hand, after two minutes we have to pull it back in. Before, we could stick it out all day and feel nothing at all.” Right? Have you heard that? (Yes, we heard it.) Yes, people say they’re very surprised, the weather is very unusual for Cambodia. (Yes.) “Unprecedented.”

Probably because of you guys, right? (Because we have You. It’s because of Master’s Blessings.) Too many people came, not enough food, cold and hunger. Cold and hunger pollute their weather, is that right? How do you say it... What does “affect” mean? (It’s affected.) You affect their weather. Everyone was shivering uncontrollably, so of course the atmosphere changed. Did you eat enough? Why are you shaking so much? (Yes, we ate a lot, there are leftovers every day.) You’re full, huh? (Yes.) How come when I said to prepare extra food for tomorrow, put them on the side, add more food, then everyone’s eyes light up so brightly? Ah, I see. It means affection doesn’t need words, right? So we express through actions and facial expressions. Ah, got it. It means after practicing for a while, you don’t even need language. You’re already in the Extreme Bliss Land.

All day long, the tent is soaked over here, leaking over there, and the water rises all the way up here and into the tent. Has anyone’s tent turned into a swimming pool yet? (Not yet.) Last time? (Almost.) Almost became one, so you can climb up that tree. (It happened a few times.) Hanging up on that tree – the tent will still get wet if hung on the tree. Because the rain falls from above – it leaks all the way inside. If not, just hang yourself up there on a tree. If you have a hammock, then hang it on. If no hammock, then just hang both legs up there, both arms up there, let the wind blow you back and forth, looks the same (as a hammock). If we hang from both ends, we’ll look just like a hammock. It’s kind of curved like that, and then the wind blows back and forth, exactly the same. Still cool as usual. Anybody tried it yet? (Not yet.) Right, who’d be dumb enough to try that.

I’m telling this just for fun. Don’t try out this nonsense. Then you’ll go back home spreading this nonsense and no one will dare come here, they’ll say, “If you come here, She’ll hang you up.” Hanging high closer to God anyway, no problem. The higher, the closer to God. (Yes.) Hes is up high, “High.” If we can’t go up “high” there, then we go up “high” on the tree. Many practitioners are tired from spiritual practice, they climb up the tree so they can attain a higher level quickly, because the tree is tall, the level is raised a bit higher.

Photo Caption: “There Is Only ONE GOD Who LIGHTS Up All UNIVERSES”

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