Wisdom of the Ancients in Child Rearing, Part 1 of 2

To understand the wisdom of the ancients in child rearing, we begin with one of the most influential teachers in human history: the Venerated Enlightened Master Confucius (vegetarian). Born in 551 BC in what is now Shandong, China, He lived during the Spring and Autumn period. In educating these noble men, He focused on fostering the five virtues of a noble man: ren (benevolence), li (ceremony and etiquette of daily behavior), yi (righteousness), zhi (knowledge), and xin (integrity). In the Analects, Master Confucius said, “The noble man is not a utensil.” Here, He emphasizes that noble men are not mere tools or technicians who slavishly perform a single task. Instead, He encourages cultivating a comprehensive view and introspection into one’s contribution to and impact on society through their work and career. Thus, filial piety and fraternal duty constitute two important tenets of Ruist thought.

As explained by Master Confucius, “It is only because noble men (junzi) serve their parents with filial reverence that this same feeling can be extended to their lord in the form of loyalty (zhong). Since Master Confucius sees filial piety and fraternal duty as the foundations of human goodness, it is natural that these noble qualities begin to be cultivated early in childhood, within the family. This sense of duty also extends to respecting superiors, such as rulers, and those who are older or more senior in age. However, filial obligations do not mean foolish obedience to parents and blind compliance with superiors. On contrast, it requires one to remonstrate patiently and consistently with their parents when there has been unrighteous conduct on the parents’ part. A well-known story that Chinese parents often use is “Kong Rong Shares the Pear.” When Kong Rong was only four years old, his father asked him to share pears among his brothers. Kong Rong gave the larger pears to his brothers and kept the smallest one for himself. This simple story is an effective way to remind children of the importance of courtesy and thoughtfulness.