I’m just too sensitive. When I went up to take a bath and change my clothes, I felt very ashamed. Why do I have so much discrimination in my mind? But I could not bear it. So I bowed fully, from head to toe. Not really bowing; what I meant is I apologized to them, saying: “I’m sorry. I respect you very much, I just couldn’t bear it.” Then I went to take a bath. For fear that their souls would smell it and feel hurt, I had to apologize. It’s truly like that. But I couldn’t bear it if I didn’t take a bath. I still have to love myself. Right? (Yes.) Why should I make myself uncomfortable? It wouldn’t hurt them in any way. It’s because of them that I had to take an extra bath. But then I felt ashamed for taking the bath. Like I was looking down on them. Actually, I was not! I didn’t look down on them. If I did, I wouldn’t have gone down to see them.
For example, some of them are VIPs coming from afar. I have all kinds of guests. Some are foreigners. It’s not that I don’t respect them. I’m very touched that they came from afar to see me. Therefore, it’s not that I didn’t respect them. I just can’t help it. The atmosphere is different. Sometimes it seemed we didn’t have affinity. And that’s why I couldn’t bear it. So, up there I was still worried that they’d feel hurt. Doing it quietly, I was still worried that he’d feel hurt. Because the soul can’t be cheated. And I still apologized from above. Yes. Really. I did. Tong caught it. He seemed to be there, and saw it. Yes? Yes. So, it’s not that I look down on others. But it seemed like the magnetic field of some people didn’t match me; I felt as if something scratched me. What else? I talked too quickly and forgot. Ah! Therefore, I do like those people very much. We did some work together, for example. It’s not that I dislike them.
OK. Some other day. Any day will be fine. Meaning, originally, I would have liked very much to come down and talk with them one more time, because we hadn’t achieved anything. I wanted to host them a little more, but I worried that I’d have to come up and wash again. So I hid myself and didn’t go down. Sometimes that’s how it is. I also feel very ashamed. Why am I afraid of taking a bath and don’t want to see others? What does it matter to take one more bath? I worry that I’m already very skinny. By taking more baths, I’d become invisible, because the skin would become thinner. (Skin becoming thinner.) Skin gets thinner. I could disappear if I took too many baths. Our body is composed of metal, wood, water, fire, and earth. We are mostly water. If you are always soaking in water, maybe the body would think bathing water is the same as the water inside us, and then it would dissolve. Then my body would only have metal and wood left. Only metal, wood, and fire left. We are mostly water; and if that disappears, our body will vanish. OK. Enough nonsense.
OK. Bon Voyage on your way home. Thank you. (Thank You, Master.) This is one’s own karma. One’s own mission. If there’s no karma, there’s no mission. Looking for trouble for yourself. Who would do it? Therefore, don’t blame those enlightened Masters for not being generous. It’s not true. And, you must remember… I’m talkative again. I just talk by the way, otherwise, you won’t be able to sleep when you get home. After hearing the threats of Tong, you wouldn’t want to practice after going home. And you have to remember… What to remember? (Remember spiritual practice.) No, no. Where was I? (Everything is karma.) Yes! Remember the story of Milarepa. He had followed His Master for several years, and had already gone through a lot of trials. Even after all the hardship, His aspiration for the Tao remained unwavering, still questing for the Tao. And yet, during His retreat, He thought of His mother. He already saw that His mother had disappeared, His home was also gone. And still He insisted on going home to have a look. What for? He didn’t realize that if He practiced well spiritually, His parents would also be liberated. Having reached that level, He still missed His mother.
After coming out from the retreat, His Master told him, “Don’t go. Your karmic hindrance has come.” “Here comes your karmic hindrance. Don’t go.” But He still insisted on leaving. Then His Master could not help but transmit the ear method to Him. After that, He only stayed for a few days. Because His Master told Him, “You stay for a few days first. If there are any questions, you can ask. Leave only after you have grasped it.” That’s why He stayed. He had just received the method, which for several years He had been yearning for and had striven hard for every day. He didn’t cherish it and didn’t stay with His Master to practice together. He wanted to go home immediately instead. Can you imagine? A man with such a strong aspiration for the Tao would still behave like that, what about ordinary people? That is why the enlightened Masters are reluctant to transmit the method. Not that They’re not generous. They observe that few are capable of practicing correctly, or are truly serious about spiritual practice. That’s why They don’t want to shoulder the leftover karma of that kind of initiate. Maybe the karma is not a problem, but if a few souls have gone astray, they would have to come back to pick them up. They wouldn’t like to transmigrate again. For most enlightened Masters, if They didn’t want to come back, They’d just save one or two disciples and that’s enough. It’s painful enough.
You see, just to deliver one Milarepa, His Master had to suffer for several years. Don’t just look at the suffering of Milarepa; His Master suffered even more! (Yes.) He had to share His sentiments, His level, and His karma. Who can stand that? He, an enlightened person, had to live together with that kind of person, minding His own business and disciplining Him. Would you like that? (No.) Yeah. For example, there are some fellow initiates who have just started practicing for a short time; they already find it hard living with others. Like those fellow practitioners, not yet initiated or those newly initiated, who are rather immature; and yet they already feel impatient sometimes. More so when He was already an enlightened Master, very high level and very enlightened, yet every day He (His Holiness Marpa Lotsawa) had to be there for the disciple (Lord Milarepa) who was not yet initiated. For several years, every day He had to discipline Him, while the disciple was angry and resentful, totally ungrateful.
Then, the Master told Him to enter a retreat, but He came out and went home to see His mother. It’s as if those years of effort were just wasted. Yeah. No wonder. After Milarepa went home, nothing happened. He had to practice for more than ten years to achieve total realization. If He had stayed there, He’d have realized faster, not that slowly. It was because He didn’t follow the Master’s instruction. Even then, His Master still gave Him initiation. He knew that was His destiny to have such karma that couldn’t be resolved. He also didn’t want to take His karma away. He wanted to test Milarepa, let Him undergo nine or ten ordeals, bear and cleanse His own karma. Only then did He initiate Him. How smart He was! Yeah!
So, you don’t just look at the suffering of Milarepa; you have to see the other party. It’s His Master Who suffered more, with so much love and patience. While letting Him carry the karmic burden, He also had to accompany Him. Seeing Him suffer, He also didn’t feel good. He quietly shed tears. A male enlightened Master shed tears for an ignorant disciple who was not initiated. You can see that He’s so loving, though He looked fierce outwardly. In order to educate Him, He couldn’t reveal His emotions. He could not do it or it would ruin the process of His spiritual practice. Therefore, He just kept on enduring it. He was sensitive and loving. Being there for that kind of disciple, He suffered even more than the disciple who was very coarse. Originally, His sufferings were caused by Himself. He felt sorry for Himself for failing to get the Method, so He was angry and cried. That’s all. Nothing special. The enlightened Master who understood His sufferings was in even more pain. Is that right? (Yes.) OK.
Therefore, when Milarepa was leaving, His Master still told Him, “You go home and practice properly. Don’t deliver sentient beings. Because most of them only aspire for those mundane… meaning, to satisfy their mundane desires only; just desires. No one wants to practice spiritually. Don’t waste your time. You go find a cave and practice alone.” Is that right?(Yes.) What He said is also right. You see, Milarepa originally was also afraid of karmic hindrance. For His mother, He used black magic power to kill more than 30 people. Both of them committed very heavy sins. When He went to His Master, His Master told Him to continue killing some more people, because those people were specialized in causing trouble and hazards, harming His disciples who were on the Path. And so He told Milarepa, “It’s said that You have magic powers that can kill people. Quick, go and kill them.” That kind of Master, telling others to kill people, getting drunk and couldn’t understand geography well, and didn’t keep promises. Given that, Milarepa could still trust Him for several years, it’s also pretty good, having strong aspiration for the Tao.
But originally, He was shouldering the karma of killing more than 30 people. Then He continued killing more. He knew there was no way to erase His karma. He couldn’t go elsewhere. He could only stick with His Master. Even with that fear, He still missed His mother and wanted to go home. Now you know how heavy His Astral sentiments were. Having studied for several years already, He should have at least realized the ephemeral relationships of the world. Isn’t it so? (Yes.) He should know that all beings are our relatives and friends. It’s OK to have some longing; of course He would miss His mother, we are not made of wood. But to the extent that He wanted to break the retreat and go home to see His mother. It meant that He was going against His Master’s instruction. He broke the retreat to go out. It wasn’t yet the time to end the retreat, and He broke the retreat to go out. And then, He didn’t treasure the method. His Master taught Him; He didn’t stay. He got it and thought it was OK to leave quickly. That’s how it is. Do you understand? (Yes.)
Therefore, since ancient times, enlightened Masters have been stingy and very stern. They knew it was futile, just wasting time and a lot of energy, and had to be angry, furious, and joy, anger, sorrow and happiness were all revealed. And had a bad reputation, and… What for? Isn’t being a dignified saint good enough? Yeah. He had attained liberation; just earn some money for Himself. It was easy to earn money because He was an enlightened Master. Since His wisdom is opened, He can earn money in whatever He does. Why save the disciples? So troublesome. The more disciples He has, the more He suffers. Really, how could there be no suffering? You raise only a few children and a few wives. One wife only. And a few children. They are your own kin, who come from love, and enemies… That’s from karma. Raising your own children from a young age already gives you so many headaches.
Sometimes you can’t put up with it. A few children, a few… one wife or one husband. You can’t stand it already. Because sometimes their mood, their thoughts, their aversion, will all affect you. Living together, being affected is inevitable. Inevitably you will smell it. You can’t even stand that. Not to mention so many people. It’s unavoidable. Therefore, who would like to do that? Since you’re liberated from the sea of suffering, why strive to go back? Who would want to do that! Right? Or, after falling into the mud, you have already washed yourself clean, why do you have to jump in again? Unless you are mentally disabled or abnormal. What’s that? Only the abnormal would like to do that. However, since you’ve already committed, then continue to do it.
Bye-bye. (Bye-bye.) (Goodbye, Master.) Why did I suddenly talk so much again? Why have I talked so much again? (Because they mentioned it.) (Let us understand more about the story of Milarepa.) The story about Milarepa. (You explained it more clearly.) (Master is so beautiful.) I explained it more clearly. (Hallo, Master.) Thank you. (Master is so beautiful.) (Hallo, Master.) The beauty within is important. Too many people are beautiful superficially. (Hallo, Master.) The car. My car. (Hallo, Master.) Look. Now pay attention to this side. (OK.) Look at the front of my car. There’s a miracle: “Turn on the Wisdom Eye.” (Don’t get too close.) Don’t get close. What’s this? (Hallo, Master.) Most beautiful. (Bye-bye, Master.) Sit here properly. I can give you a ride. I’m the one in the picture. (Bye-bye, Master.) Bye-bye. (Bye-bye. Bye-bye, Master.) (Bye-bye.) Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Little Mouse, come over. Have you eaten? Is mom here? (Yes.) Why didn’t you come down just now? I know two of you. Wow. Oh. Oh. Wow. Your heart is pounding. (I ran up very fast.) Why do you have to run so fast? You can see me every week. You’ve seen me every week. Do you want to catch a ride? No. OK. Forget it. Alright. Go home. Reluctant to leave but still have to go. See you next week. Come again when you have time. (We don’t want Master to leave.) What’s it that you taught me? Fool. (Fool.) (Fool. Fool.) Fool. (Fool.) Fool. (Bye-bye, Master. Bye-bye.) I can’t say it to everyone… I… Fool. Fool. (Fool.)
It’s strange. (Yes. I have never seen it.) We’ve planted a lot over there, but they never bloom. (Yes. Yes.) (Yes. Yes. Yes.) Only one of them blooms here. (Normally, this kind is planted in a basin.) (They don’t grow big.) Don’t grow big. Why does this one bloom? This is the first time I have seen it. I also planted a lot of this before. Why haven’t I seen it like this? Have you seen it? (No. No. No. This is the first time.) Never before. (Yes. Yes.) I am also seeing it for the first time. Strange. I thought it had no flowers. I thought its leaves were beautiful and that’s all. Can’t imagine there’s a higher level. So comfortable. (Yes.) You see, it looks very much like stars. Like lights. (Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.) So beautiful. Wow. Wow. Wow, wow, wow. Ah. Yesterday I watched from over there and thought they glued it on. I thought it was plastic. When I came in, I kept looking, “Is this a flower? It can’t be. It’s on the top.” I looked very carefully. It looked like it was glued on. I thought they glued it on or it was a fake. It looks like a fake. Never have I seen this before. Now I see it clearly. It’s right on the top. (Yes, yes.) It can’t be fake. I am seeing this for the first time. So beautiful. (Yes.) It turns out that they plant it for these flowers. Wow. This is wonderful. So they plant it for the flower. I thought it wouldn’t grow flowers. I thought, sometimes the plant and the pot are green together. I thought these leaves were already very beautiful. (Only the leaves.) I didn’t expect it to yield such beautiful flowers. (Yes.) We don’t have blessed rewards. The people here… ( People here have heavy karma. It can transmigrate and yield flowers. Have you done anything or is it originally like that? Originally, it’s like that. (Originally, it’s like that.) For people to hang things. Wow! (It’s Master’s Blessing.) (Master, we’ll go home and eat.) Haven’t you eaten yet? (Not full.) Is it because I was talkative? (No.) Letting go is the right thing to do; “receiving consecration.” OK. Go home and eat.
Photo Caption: “Spring Seems to Take Its Time, but It Will Come”
